Teshuva confession and community - Ha Rav Ginsburg Gal Einai Institute on Love Your Fellow Jew Parshas Naso 5771
In parashat Naso we have the mitzvah of teshuva (repentance or return to Gd) which in a certain way is the greatest or most all-inclusive mitzvah of the Torah because even if a person disobeys all of the other mitzvoth of the Torah he still has a chance. You always have a chance to do teshuva
“Ein davar ha-omed bifnei hateshuva, nothing stands in the face of teshuva.” So this can correct, rectify, repair all of the damage that a person could possibly do by committing transgressions.
How does the Torah express this mitzvah of teshuva: Veheetvadu et chat’atam asher asu, “they shall confess the sin that they did.” So we see that the Torah refers to the mitzvah of teshuva and defines the mitzvah of teshuva as confession, which is verbal, something audible. Why is that so? I would think that teshuva is primarily a function of the heart. One returns to Gd in his heart. He has to regret having committed the sin in his heart. He has to make a firm decision in his heart that he’s not going to do it again. So it’s all in the heart. But, the Torah says, that the actual performance of the mitzvah is by means of confession in the mouth. Now that word, “confession,” vebeetvadu appears twice in the Torah. It appears in this verse and it appears in the previous parashah, Veheetvadu et avonam, “They shall confess their iniquity.” Avonam is just another synonym for “sin.” There’s avon and cheit. Like in the 13 princilpes of mercy it says, Nose avon vapesha vechata’ah., “That Hashem forgives us for our avon, our iniquity,” and later it says later for our sin.
So once the Torah says Veheetvadu et avonam, and the second time it says, Veheetvadu et chat’atam. Each veheetvadu equals 427, which is 7 times 61.Those are the prime factors of 427. 7 means it’s something that appears in all the 7 attributes of the heart. 61 equals ani, it’s “ego.” All sin is because of ego. Even when a prince, when a king sins, it says Asher nasi yechta and the initial letters of those three words are ani from which we learn that the prince also, a prince is someone who is very uplifted, because he has a tremendous responsibility over the people. He also sins. How does he sin? Why does he sin? Because of ego, that he feels himself.
So, sin is basically comes from exaggerated overt ego. How does one repair that? By converting the ani into ayin, the same letters. Ani is I and ayin is nothing. The I has to nullify itself through the inner point of wisdom of the soul which is called ayin, bitul [selflessness.] That’s the essence of teshuva, converting one’s “I” into “nothing.” So instead of 7 times “I” you have 7 times “nothing.”It says that “nothing” is the soul-origin of the Jewish soul, Ayin mazal leYisrael. But, since the word appears twice, so it’s 2 ties that. So, instead of 7 times 61, together it’s 14 times 61. 14 is Dovid.
That prince that sinned and then did teshuva and the Torah says that the whole reason that Gd made him sin - it’s called, “Awesome is the plot of Gd,” that brings a person to sin – the whole reason is that he should teach each individual Jew for all generations to come that even if you sin, even if you are a prince, the highest level of responsibility in the Jewish people, sin and fall, you always have the power of your soul to return to Hashem to rectify the sin. That we learn from Dovid. Actually, 2 times 7 times 61 is “I am Dovid” [dovid times ani] and that number which is 854 is the first of the 3 priestly blessings, which are given expressed in this week’s parashah [Naso 5771] “Yevarechacha Hashem veyeeshmerecha “May Hashem bless you and guard you.” There are two things that we have to consider and contemplate in this phrase. Veheetvadu et chat’atam asher asu. One is that the word, veheetvdu “they shall confess…” is in the plural: “They [shall confess}.” Why does it say it in the plural? I would think that teshuva is a personal experience. That I sinned, and if I sinned, then I have to do teshuvah. So shouldn’t’ the expression of the mitzvah of teshuva and of confession should be in the singular? Why is it in the plural, veheetvadu et chat’atam, that, “they shall confess?” And the second thing is that we asked at the very beginning, why do you have to confess? Why is that transition from “I” to “nothing” through the means of actual audible words, that you have to say to Gd that I have sinned, that I have done such and such. And I regret it and now I’m firmly deciding not to do it again. So, actually these two questions, one answers the other. Part of doing teshuva is feeling part of the klal, of Klal Yisrael [collective of Israel] It is a very essential part of doing teshuva. I have to identify and feel part of klal yisrael of Knesset Yisrael, the whole Jewish people. And even though I’m not saying, “everybody sinned as I sinned.” But, in order to return from my sin, I have to connect myself to other Jews. Just like it says before praying, I have to connect to the whole Jewish people. We sing the mitzvah of ve’ahavta lereichacha kamocha, “to love all Jews as myself.” Before I pray, otherwise I’m a blemished sacrifice. Prayer is like offering oneself in sacrifice, you can’t have a blemish. It says that if a person is not connected to every other soul so that one soul that he’s not connected to is a blemish on his own soul and then he can’t be a sacrifice to Hashem. He can’t pray to Hashem. How much the more so in the case of teshuva. A person cannot really reconnect, especially if you’ve done so much damage to yourself and to the world with all those sins, how can you rectify it? You can only rectify it if you connect to the Jewish people. In order to reconnect to Gd you have to reconnect much stronger than you ever were before to the Jewish people. Before you were an “I”, a separate ego. The more a person feels his “I”ness, his ego, he’s separate from other people. He’s not part of the community. The beginning of teshuva is that you have to understand that teshuva is a communal process. Even though you’re doing it for yourself but it’s something communal. I’m doing teshuva to bring Mashiach. I’ve done all this damage. Why and I doing teshuva? I want to reconnect. But I ‘m really doing teshuva because all my damage has postponed the coming of Mashiach and I want to promote the coming of Moshiach. I have to do teshuva. But, Moshiach is not going to come to me alone because I’m “me.” That’;s the reason he’s not coming. Moshiach is only going to come to all of us together.
Now this itself explains why I have to confess verbally, because verbal is communication Even though it says sometimes that a person should not confess his sins so loud, that other people overhear. Sometimes, you’re supposed to keep it a little bit to yourself it’s not kvod Shamayim, it’s not in the honor of Hashem that everybody should hear all of your sins. It says that one of the difference between Moshe Rabbein and King Dovid , Divid Hamelecn in reference to their sin, is that Moshe Rabbeinu wanted everybody to hear his sin, that he just sinned in this one little thing. That was the reason he was not allowed to enter the Land of Israel. But King David did not want other people to hear his sins. That’s the difference between bitul and shiflut, the absolute “selflessness” and “lowliness” the two levels of Moses, Moshe Rabbein and King David, whether you want other people to overhear your confession.
But in any event, even though you do not necessarily want other people to actually hear but confessing verbally is communication. Once more, if I keep it in my heart so first of all I might not even fully recognize what I’ve done. To say that , “I have done such and such” with my mouth is full recognition. But together with full recognition it’s also communication. It’s not only communication between me and Gd. But once more even if other people don’t overhear, it’s talking in a way, which is human-like, at a certain unconscious level, it’s communicating my sin and my confession and my desire to return to Hashem, to everybody. Because I know that my sin is a communal phenomenon and that my return to Gd is a communal phenomenon. So this we all learn from this great mitzvah in this week’s parashah Naso veheetvadu et chat’atam asher asu, “They shall confess their sin that they did.”
Categories: G-d Consciousness, Tisha B'av, Ahavas Yisrael, Teshuva
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